This Drifting Excrement Was Way Too Symbolic! It's the Television Letdowns of the Past Year.
As we consider the TV landscape of the past year, a selection of shows stand out not for their brilliance, but for their notable shortcomings. Ranging from cringe-inducing spin-offs to bafflingly poor documentaries, here are the productions that left us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.
And Just Like That
Where to begin with this divisive follow-up? Plagued with woeful writing, cringe-inducing character development (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the show fought to find its footing. Briefly, as the third season began, it looked like it had at last found its groove. Then arrived an episode all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner announced this would be the final series. It concluded on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet full of poo was simply too on-the-nose. Still, viewers undeniably found joy picking apart every single “what on earth?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a little sob?
The Kim Kardashian Drama
‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’
But that was almost the least of this show's problems. The recipient of a very rare zero star assessment, it was difficult to know where to start enumerating the flaws. The hilariously leaden dialogue? The tedious glorification of wealth and materialism? The seemingly deliberate procession of cliches? Performances so bad they felt almost spiteful? Let’s just say “all of the above” and forget about this series again. Except, a second season has been ordered, so we’re likely going to have to.
AKA Charlie Sheen
Considering the restraining orders, domestic violence claims and fatherly failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d truly have gleaned it from this multi-part docuseries which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless hedonism while struggling to tell us a single thing we weren't already aware of. Rather, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any pity this series might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to endure close contact with this charming but dismissive egotist.
The Iris Affair
Naturally we understood it was preposterous from the outset: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of pure love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ended up slicing Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.
MobLand
Dodgy characters meeting in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.
Actually, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to accommodate baffling dialects. But there were many other issues. Primarily that it was just profoundly boring; a dispute over narcotics territory between various London rogues which felt rather simplistic.
With Love, Meghan
Given the extent to which she provokes the ire of certain performatively enraged commentators, it’s almost easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s televised forays into twee lifestyle as intentional statements. But then you watch them and are forced to concede that actually, they might have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine animated; a meme for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, buzzing beehives, Hallmark platitudes and pointless crafting “tips” you’ll not remember instantly. All underpinned by vast, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.
The Beckham Documentary
There are clearly fascinating things to be said about regarding Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, self-image, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this documentary series chose not to explore them. Instead, the experience was like consuming a marketing catalogue. She clearly has good reason to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she didn’t do herself any helps with this guarded letdown of a series.
The Inheritance
It should have been the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star playing dead and a well-known personality managing her estate. What more could you want? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too complicated to explain what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up smelling of a production that was straining desperately to emulate something far greater than it.
Too Much
How does one succeed a show that captured a generation? The expectation was immense for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a shattered romance. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was insufficient. Plus, the abundance of famous friends involved felt icky.
The Sketch Show Return
Not good enough to be ‘uneven’.
Given the smart inclusion of talented younger comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A recurring sketch was a single joke milked to a dry pulp but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a familiar ranting mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply inspired the idea that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.
The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox
This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an interesting drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be treated sensitively. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lurching from strangely jaunty, slightly stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A complete mess? Absolutely.
The Maths Genius Thriller
We love the star … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? Nope! This international thriller about secret services spying on – and killing off – intellectuals frankly got more farcical by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.
The Bonnie Blue Documentary
This hagiography followed the content creator notorious for explicit exploits as she undertook her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was far greater examination of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the now-famous mum who appeared to haul her son away from the queue. What we got was horrific shots and zero interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.